Pile Driver vs Stealth Bomber

Bonnie and Clyde differ in their approaches to the human body. No, they don't dispute over some fundamental physical anatomy philosophy. They differ in their techniques of arrival ON the human body.

Clyde is a relentless pile driver. He will walk up the length of the human form pressing 1000 psi with every step. It can be like some kind of prisoner-of-war-torture technique. The steps are bad enough, but when he pauses....ouch! It's as iff all of his very being and all of the gravity on our planet, and then some, are pushing down on my body, all in the two dimensional space taken up by the bottom of his paw. If he wants to lean forward and say, sniff my eyelid, all of this pressure is doubled because he is careful to put both forefeet tightly side-by-side. No amount of writhing by the human victim seems to shift his stance. A shove with an arm or hand will dislodge him, but that is only the begining. He is relentless. The walking will begin again....up the full length of the body with pauses along the way as he deems appropriate.

Bonnie is a stealth bomber: she appears out of nowhere dropping her payload with a targeted vengeance. Bonnie is a powerful girl in a little package. She really does arrive out of nowhere. Her mis-matched hind legs are deceptively powerful springs. Only with the incredible skill of the feline does Bonnie leap from a standstill and up and on to whatever she desires. This results in a surprise attack I'm not prepared for. She may be small, but she is compact, and when she lands it is inevitably followed by a whoosh of air and a grunt out of the human. Once when they were still pretty little, I had just settled down with an Amy's vegetarian pizza. It had been a long day, I was tired, this little pizza was what I had looked forward to. I sat down in my chair, pulled the lever to recline and umph! Bonnie landed in the middle of my pizza. All four feet and a surprised look on her face and there she was looking at me as if to say, "Hi Momma, how's your dinner?"

Last night I slept relatively unscathed by my feline terrorists, but when the alarm went off this morning...Bonnie landed beside my head (not on my head thankfully) and Clyde walked up from about the knees.

Good Morning Momma...